The Hardest Part of the Year

I’m trying not to over-anticipate the next 10 days. Right now my bipolar is stable and in the middle. (Yay!!) But there’s a full moon, a solstice and a Christmas delusion which all have strong possibilities of messing up my mood, sending me into delicious mania with hallucinations and delusions, or into fateful suicidal depression with plans and intent. Either pole is equally likely.

And full moons, solstices and equinoxes can all mess up my mood pretty good. There’s a moon event and a sun event on this coming weekend, right about the time my Christmas delusion likes to come into play with false beliefs about who I am and what my purpose in life is.

So how do I prepare for a messed up mood, yet take each moment as it comes and let these next 10 days be just another 10 days? I don’t even know how to ask for help for this!!! I feel if I just take each hour, each minute as it comes, and a mood disturbance/episode happens – And I Haven’t Prepared Myself For It – I could fall pretty far off the deep end and it could take months to recover. And to prepare for a mood disturbance/episode feels like walking on eggshells so that at least I’m not blindsided. I don’t know how else to prepare. Help!

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