Reflections #10

Another day in the two week quest to see what I’m thinking. I haven’t decided if my thoughts are racing so fast I can’t tell what I’m thinking, or that I have so few thoughts that I don’t have anything I’m thinking about. If the latter it’s the first time possibly ever! When I stop to try to form a thought, there is a song going through my head at any given time. Just a couple lines, of course, just to give me an earworm. But not much else. I listen, and the thoughts are non-existent or racing so fast I can’t tell what they are doing. I’m almost thinking they are non-existent.

I saw my psychiatrist today just to get refills. I would have waited to see the new one except that I would need refills before I saw him. So I gritted my teeth and bore it. I just don’t get that she sympathizes with me at all. And I need someone who is compassionate at the very least. I don’t get that from her. Oh well. I tried. On to the next one!

I’m doing well with exercising 5x/week, half hour at a time. I vary what I’m doing between the pool, the treadmill and the recumbent exercise bike. I’m not getting in any strength training though. I could use the fitness center, but I’m doing things with the least amount of fuss possible. I’m going to the pool which takes more fuss than it’s worth, including that I have to wait until at least 6:15 to go so the sun is lower. By then the pool is bath water, which feels gross. Pool water should be a little cool when you get in…

People have been giving me suggestions for churches in my denomination to try. I appreciate the leads! Based on the websites and the distance I don’t think they are good fits though. There’s something about staying in my area so I can do things with a local emphasis. I could try the church near me again. It’s website makes me think it’s a different spirituality than I have. Torn again between two spiritualities.

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