Reflections #2

It’s the second day of trying to see what I’m thinking since my thoughts are racing so fast. I hope it works!

Today my mom and I cleared my closet of stuff that is not mine, including a large hope chest. We rearranged my room to make it more spacious and fit my desk better. I unpacked art and desk boxes from storage into rolling plastic drawers. The rest of the boxes have files in them. Those will go in the plastic file boxes that will arrive in a week.

Surprisingly I am feeling more settled here now that I have my own space to make art, write or use my laptop. And my things are out so I can use them. I hope the new configuration of the room affects me enough to think of it as “my” room, instead of just a room in my brother’s house.

I’m still operating on impulse these days. Waiting for an impulse or desire to make me get up and do something. Even though I have more positive energy with the newfound “non-depression” (as I’m thinking of this sometimes happiness), I’m still not very active. You’d think with racing thoughts that I would have racing actions too. Alas, no. I wait for impulses to strike to do anything.

My brother is on a road trip from Dallas to Cheyenne. Almost there! Must be speeding, lol. Wish I could travel. Even just to see people or sites in Texas. Still hours to get somewhere, though. And I hear that I should wait until October to visit Houston. I would imagine I would appreciate Austin more in the fall as well.

I’m getting along with family a bit better right now. As my psychiatrist reminded me, this is temporary and I have an ultimate goal to live in my own place again, albeit very close by (mile away). I’ve been thinking I don’t have to move out. I could stay a while now that I have better space. I think. I’ll want to do more of my own cooking, eat healthier and more varied foods. That will be a stretch for me. Maybe that’s my next step before moving out. Take care of my meals. That sounds about right.

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