I haven’t written in a while because my days are dictated by a new routine and brainstorming solutions to a new health problem.
I am exercising 5 days a week – 3 days in the pool, 2 on an elliptical. My care team reminds me that first and foremost reason I’m doing this exercise is for my mental health, and weight loss is secondary. I tend to think of it more as the routine is for my mental health, and the movement is for weight loss. I do not feel, nor have I ever felt, endorphins after exercise, no matter how hard or how long I exercise.
But I have a medical problem with the exercise. My lungs and windpipe hurt after a work out. I have asthma and it is completely controlled except for exercising. I’ve been taking albuterol before I exercise and it only helps sometimes. My current pulmonologist thinks bariatric surgery will help. Um, what??? How will that help my windpipe??? He had already referred me to a cardiologist for pulmonary hypertension, which we discovered I Do Not Have after an invasive angiogram.
So, I’m getting a second opinion. I’d like to workout to capacity and not have to take the intensity down several notches so that I don’t cause an incident with my lungs. Dealing with this medical issue (since mid-May) has taken an awful lot of mental energy, increased my anxiety, made me scared to exercise because I could hurt my lungs. All that’s not helping my mood, really.
Meanwhile in MoodLand, I had a plunge in mood in mid-June, two weeks after a change in meds. Called psychiatrist and upped one med back to where we started and I seem to be better now. I see her today for a check-up. I’m doing better, but I am having trouble with mood with having enough to do each day to keep my mind active even though I feel like my mind has its arms tied behind its back with the difficulty in memory, focus and concentration. I need more social interaction too. Taking exercise classes helps with social activity, but those are very superficial conversations – not the kind of real social interaction I crave. Intellectual stimulation and social interaction – crucial for my mood stability. I’ve applied to volunteer a few places. Starting over with work-related activities to see if that will help on both accounts.
So, I’m mostly stable, but still room for improvement. Overall, a decent place I think.