So, after my last post, I was supposed to meet up with a friend later in the afternoon. I handled a bottle and poured out the pills. Put them back. Fell asleep (not uncommon for me to just drop off and not know it). Slept through the time to meet with the my friend. Finally I woke to my phone vibrating saying that friends were on the way over and did I take anything. Groggily I said no several times.
A few minutes later the police are at my door for a wellness check (as they are called). Someone had called and thought I had hurt myself. The fire department’s ambulance was a minute behind. Even though I had not taken anything, and even though I had put the pills back, I knew that I was close. And if my friends had left me alone, I might have finally attempted suicide. (A thought that still feels good, sad to say – long story for another post.)
And that is how it came to be that I got a sirens and lights ride to the hospital so I could sit in the blank room (literally – NOTHING in it) for 7 hours while that hospital got me transferred to my usual inpatient hospital.
It is not always this dramatic when I go to the hospital. But the drama of this hospitalization suited the seriousness of my intent. I would have tried it.
I am grateful to the 2 friends who made the call. I am grateful to the police and fire personnel who respond so quickly.