Last week, Holy Week was a fleeting thought. I reminded myself that I made it through Christmas which is the biggest, hardest trigger for me. (Long story…) I didn’t have to go the hospital then because I was using many different coping strategies to live with the pain and move on with my life. And I reached out to my support system. A challenge I had then, as now, is that so many in my support system are – shall we say – overwhelmed themselves with the events of these weeks and therefore I feel guilty calling on them to be with my during these times. What to do.
Last week, Holy Week was in the future and I could feel myself getting better – better drugs, different skills being honed, returning to events of life before this last episode.
Now it’s Holy Week. Palm and/or Passion Sunday (depends what you emphasize…) is today. I’m ignoring – to the best of my ability – facebook and twitter posts about it or anything religious. (Religion is huge trigger for my anxiety right now. Long story… plus click on Spirituality in the category cloud.) However, I’m triggered. I’m doing my best to stay in the moment and find activities that are not anxiety-producing, or better, restful.
So, my friends, knowing myself, and already being triggered, AND not anticipating so much that it makes this worse, it’s going to be a rough Holy Week for me. Especially Triduum.
Here’s how I’m setting myself up for success. I’ve got the extra support – yet challenge – of the Anxiety Program. I’m trying to work 3 hours each afternoon after program to release some work pressure as well as do something enjoyable and productive. I’ve got plenty of Bertolli’s meals-in-a-bag to handle dinners.
I DON’T have a house I’m not allergic to since the cats are shedding their winter coats and my body hurts with all the driving to Naperville then La Grange then home so I can’t vacuum or dust. Plus, vacuuming and dusting these life-size bunny versions of dust bunnies of cat fur will make the hives and swollen eyes worse.
Here’s how you can help me:
- Remind me that I’ll be fine by Tuesday the 2nd (Easter Monday still triggering for some reason).
- Remind me I made it through Xmas, which is worse.
- Remind me to be physically gentle with myself, including eliminating activities as needed.
- Encourage me to slow my thoughts down with the cloud mindfulness exercise (leaves on a stream doesn’t work for me, but clouds do).
- Encourage me to remember my values and to ask myself if those thoughts or these actions take me further toward my values.
- Encourage me to take an opposite-to-emotion action. (If sad, something happy. etc)
- remind me to listen to a Tara Brach podcast (that’s for you, Matt, though I know you are not reading this)
Thank you in advance!