Having a rough day again – just can’t seem to shake these painful feelings. I’m contemplating the hospital again since I’m still wanting to be unconscious so I don’t feel and don’t live like this.
But there’s a price to going to the hospital – a financial one that we can’t really afford. There’s the price of the shame of going back to the hospital every few months this year, as though I can’t cope. I know the hospital is there for when I and others need it, and that this might be a time when I do need something to stabilize me and send me on my way.
I’m getting advice from friends to keep working my coping skills – get out of the house, do something fun (like go to a movie), get together with someone. I’ll be trying these today.