I’m sorry I haven’t posted in several days. I’ve been feeling ‘off’ for nearly a week, even a bit of not knowing waking from dreams sometimes. Sooo…
I thought I’d post a bit about this feeling. It might be a mood, or a phase, or dealing with anxiety or
stress. Yesterday was the pinnacle of this feeling as we dug at it in therapy and with my psychiatrist. Thank goodness I have people to talk to, to help figure this stuff out. Yet darnit that it hurts so much to dig it up, uncover it, feel it.
The last so many days I’ve been feeling tired, heavy, emotionally empty, hollow. It keeps me from doing much at all. Can’t seem to handle any chores, even sorting mail, laundry, cooking. And I’m finding it so very difficult to think through tasks and consequences, such as phone calls – what to say or how to respond.
So that’s where I’m at. I guess just a blob for now. I know ECT has something to do with it, and it will get better once this round is over. But all treatments and therapies are new for me, as are my reactions. And I’m still unmasking behaviors that I used to use to hide the bipolar that I didn’t know I had. And adding behaviors that will help me live a balanced life with bipolar. It’s gonna take a while to find that balance point.