Hmmm…. this morning I overheard a conversation that triggered an intense response. The phrase “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” was used and I immediately thought ‘I can’t do that. Not that I won’t do that, but that I can’t.’ What happens when I’m not able to be fully present in the moment, or when my mood is so twisted out of shape that I can’t react correctly? What happens when I don’t have it in me to dig down deep and pull energy into my actions or find encouragement for the day?
In the past I would feel shame when I feel this way. Somehow I failed to live the human life I’m supposed to live when I don’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and find solid ways to make it in this world. And that’s what got triggered in me today. But then I was able to find a different response. I was able to tell myself that I can look for help. I can’t make it all on my own. I need partners and companions, meds and treatments, professionals and support groups, to make it through this life. I can do it – with help. And THAT is a position of recovery instead of shame.